A Morning Walk, A Stranger’s Hug, and the Feeling That Stayed with Me
There is a phrase that occasionally appears in local social media groups around the Costa Blanca: “Hugger Muggers.” The stories are remarkably similar. A stranger approaches, often appearing warm, friendly and overly familiar. Before you know it, they have embraced you as though you were an old friend. The hug itself is not the objective. It is the distraction.
Like many people, I had read these warnings but never imagined they would apply to me. They always seemed to be stories that happened to someone else, somewhere else, usually in the busier areas of Ciudad Quesada, such as the main street.
That is why I never expected my ordinary morning dog walk along the peaceful, blossom -lined Avenida del Salvador to leave me questioning not only what had happened, but how safe I now felt in the neighbourhood I have happily called home for more than seven years.
An Ordinary Morning
My dog, Tino, and I had set out a little later than usual. It was around 8:50 am, still early enough to avoid the intense summer heat and, if I’m honest, early enough to avoid too many people.
Tino is still a puppy. He believes every person he meets is a potential friend, and most mornings our walks involve stopping while he enthusiastically greets complete strangers.
Over the years I have learned something that he has not – Not everyone who appears friendly has good intentions.
It is a subject I explored in an earlier article, Our Expectations of People, where I reflected on the assumptions we naturally make about others. Most people are kind. Most encounters are genuine. But occasionally our expectations collide with reality.
The Encounter
At approximately 8:55 am, as we walked along Avenida del Salvador, around 300 metres from Consum, I noticed a woman turning from Calle Número 1. She appeared to have been jogging but slowed to a walk as she reached the junction.
She crossed the road towards us.
Assuming she simply wanted to pass, I stepped aside and held Tino, who immediately wanted to say hello.
She smiled.
“Buenos días,” she said to my dog.
I smiled back and replied. We began chatting in Spanish, something I always welcome as an opportunity to practise the language. She asked how far I walked each day and whether I owned a bicycle. I joked that cycling wouldn’t be very fair on Tino and that I actually enjoy the exercise.
Then something happened that struck me as unusual.
Without warning, she reached out and rubbed my stomach while complimenting me and saying I was handsome. She laughed and suggested that perhaps we should dance together.
It felt odd, but she seemed cheerful, relaxed and entirely at ease.
She introduced herself as “Ana” and held out her hand.
I introduced myself in return, shaking her hand in a mannerly way.
She gently pulled me towards her and greeted me with a kiss on each cheek in the traditional European manner.
Which to be honest, I personally don’t like and felt slightly uncomfortable but assumed she was simply an affectionate and outgoing person.
Moments later she rubbed my stomach again before stepping forward and embracing me in a hug.
The Moment Everything Changed
As she hugged me, I felt her fingernails against my neck. Instantly, and without thinking, I stepped backwards and reached for my gold chain.
Thankfully, it was still there.
Financially, the chain has very little value. Emotionally, it is priceless. It belonged to my mother, who died twenty-five years ago. I have worn it every day since and have never once taken it off. Losing it would have been devastating.
As I touched the chain, the woman immediately stepped back and repeatedly said,
“No… No…”
Those two simple words changed everything.
Until that exact moment I had been trying to convince myself that the encounter was simply unusual. Now I wasn’t so sure. I was confused, even dazed.
When Your Mind Starts Arguing With Itself
The strange thing is that no crime was committed. Nothing was stolen. Nobody was injured. The woman walked away. So did I. Yet I carried something home with me that was far heavier than my chain. Doubt!
Was she simply an unusually friendly woman? Had I completely misread the situation?
Or had my instinct just prevented me from losing something deeply precious?
As a former psychological counsellor, I understand how the mind processes uncertainty. Our brains naturally search for explanations after emotionally charged events. We replay conversations. Examine details we overlooked, and we question our own judgement.
Despite understanding the psychology, I found myself repeatedly touching my neck throughout the day to make sure my chain was still there. That surprised me. Because the emotional impact remained long after the encounter had ended.
The Cost of an Unsettling Encounter
For more than seven years I have lived in this community without ever feeling unsafe. Today was different. I found myself locking the front door more quickly. Watching unfamiliar cars. Paying more attention to strangers walking past the house. Yet, nothing around me had actually changed. But my perception had.
That, perhaps, is the greatest consequence of encounters like this. Whether criminal or entirely innocent, they have the power to change how we experience the places we once considered completely safe.
A Simple Word of Caution
The woman appeared to be in her forties, of medium height and build, with dark hair. She was wearing a pink running top and shorts and spoke only Spanish.
I cannot say with certainty what her intentions were. I can only describe what happened and how it made me feel.
Having reflected carefully on the encounter, I believe it may have been an attempt to distract me while creating an opportunity to remove my chain. Equally, I acknowledge that I cannot know her intentions with certainty.
I am sharing this experience not to accuse anyone, but to encourage awareness.
If a stranger suddenly becomes unusually tactile, touching you, embracing you or distracting your attention, particularly while you are wearing jewellery or carrying valuables, trust your instincts. Perhaps nothing is wrong. But there is no harm in taking a step back and ensuring that everything you value is still exactly where it should be.